This post may sound ridiculous considering that I just spent the weekend hanging out with friends, going out to dinner, and playing golf...but hear me out.
Lately I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed. Between work, school, getting ready for the baby, and all the million other things going on in my life, I just haven't been my calm, cool, stress-free self. I don't think reading this blog post helped: The 7 Traits of the Free Man.
I'm not saying I don't like my job, quite the contrary. And I highly doubt I want to be an entrepreneur (they have crazier schedules than anyone!) But the part about owning your own time is what really stuck with me. In my case, I think my current stress is coming from two things: not enough time and lack of control over my time.
Not enough time
I think everyone's felt like this at some point so it's nothing new. Put simply, I think I've just stretched myself too thin and the effects are finally catching up to me. I feel stupid complaining about anything in my life, because I have a great life. In fact, I feel like I'm finally at the point in my life where I've got a wife I love, a baby on the way, a good job, a nice place to live, and enough money to be comfortable. It's what I've always wanted. But this is also the problem. I am finally at this stage and I don't have time to enjoy any of it.
I'm jealous of the people who can come home from work and just relax. Maybe that means watching some TV, cooking dinner, going for a walk, reading, or playing video games -- none of which I seem to have time for. (Exception being my birthday weekend when I told myself I wasn't doing anything that wasn't fun. That was my gift to myself.) It sounds cliche, but these ought to be the best years of my life and I'm spending them slaving away between work and school. It's made me realize the true value of time. The problem is that there's only a limited quantity of it. This leads me to my next point...
Lack of control over my time
I've got never-ending "To Do" lists for work, school, and home. I rush through one task just so I can immediately move onto another. I get home from work and need to start studying. I finish studying and I need to do something around the house. There's never any time for "nothing." I think I've forgotten how to relax. And all of the things I'm doing, I feel like I'm not the one deciding what I should spend my time on. Everything is a "have to do" rather than a "want to do." I don't know why, but it seems like I'm letting everyone else dictate how I spend my time. I mean, I haven't even gotten around to setting up the Nintendo Wii I got my birthday (9 days ago.) I want to set it up, I want to play Wii games but when I prioritize it against all the stuff I have to do I just never get to it.
So that's my rant. I feel like I don't have enough time to enjoy life. As I said, I'm sure this is nothing new. One possible remedy might be drastic simplification and a reduction of commitments. (Is the MBA really worth all the added stress?)
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1 comments:
Working full time (plus more, in the case of your job!) and doing your Masters at night is possibly one of the hardest things you can do. Priorities blur, stress becomes a common fact of life, and well "life" tends to take a back-seat, especially around finals time (but the "end" is always in sight). However, there are many ways you can regain control if you want to stay in school - slow it down (heck, it took me 5 years instead of 3, but I was able to enjoy more along the way), appreciate and remember the times you get to do fun stuff (i.e., every weekend!), and try to get work under control so that it doesn't run into your life and create more stress. All of this doesn't make up for the fact that YES, being in school and working at the same time will be more stressful than just working or just going to school, so in the end it's a personal decision on what you want in the long-run and where you're willing to make trade-offs. Is it worth the short-term stress for long-term gain? In my experience it was, but if you think you can get the career you want without it, then maybe not. That's the over-simplified, under-stated "is an MBA worth it?" dilemna. I certainly don't think it's worth being miserable or feeling like you're giving up life for, but everyone I work with who is in their 40's/50's say "gosh, you're so smart to get it done now...I wish I would've done it when I was your age" and it reminds me why I'm making sacrifices now for the future. In the end, it's your life and your choice, so you should spend it whichever makes sense for you. Just don't lose sight of how much fun you DO have on a regular basis and how much we will continue to love you even though we know you don't always have the time.
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