having a good work-life balance has nothing to do with your job

The other day I was having lunch with someone who complained about not having a good work-life balance because of their demanding job. But I didn't quite know how to tell the person that the problem isn't their job, the problem is them.

Having a good work-life balance is something entirely within your control. Either achieving this balance is important to you or it isn't. And for those people who make it a priority, well guess what...they tend to have a good work-life balance. They're happier and less stressed. And this is all because they took control.

I think a lot of people put in long hours for a couple of reasons:

• They have too much work. This can be solved by learning how to tactfully say "No" when new projects come along.
  
• They can't prioritize the work they have. Learning how to figure out what's important is a valuable skill. I like the 3 MIT method.
  
• They want to "get caught up" on their work. Some people even take this a step further and try to "get ahead". But guess what, there is always more work waiting for you. Even if you finish everything on your To Do list, someone is bound to give you more. So just remember, work will still be waiting for you the next morning whether you go home at 5pm or 10pm.
  
• They have a uniquely demanding job. I'm sure there are some jobs that do simply require unbelievably long hours. But these are usually also jobs with specific deadlines. A lawyer preparing for a big case certainly will need to do everything possible to prepare before their first day in court.
  
• They want to look like a hard worker. Be warned though, long hours don't indicate hard work. Sure, some managers will think "Wow, look at Dave, he's really busting his butt lately on this project. Great job!" but other managers might thing "Wow, I can't believe Dave is having to spend so long on this project. Doesn't he know how what he's doing or how to manage his time?"
  
• They want to be successful. More frequently managers are judging people based on their performance and results rather than the effort they put in. Long hours won't pay off if you still produce mediocre results. Now, if you can produce stellar results by working long hours then that's a different story. But try to produce stellar results working "normal" hours if you can.
• People expect you to reply to emails within 5 hours. Whatever the number is maybe your company has a culture of speed where people think that you have to reply to emails quickly. Well it's in your control to change that expectation. Sure, if you have always responded to emails in the evening in the past then people will expect you to continue doing that. Setting expectations is key. If people know you don't check emails in the evening, they won't expect a reply until the next day. And if something is really important, someone will call you.

Ok, now your convinced and having a healthy work-life balance is suddenly a priority for you. So how do you go about getting it? Here are a handful of suggestions that I've seen work:

1. Set boundaries. Don't let people schedule you for meetings outside of the hours from 9-5pm. If someone schedules a 7am or 7pm meeting, politely decline.
   
2. Have a good system such as GTD. If you have everything you need to do recorded in a trusted system then it's easier to unplug at the end of the day and not stress-out thinking about all the things you need to do. You know that when you get back to work and look at your To Do list that it's complete and you know exactly what you need to work on.
   
3. Avoid working at home. I think a lot of people fall into the trap of doing work at home. With laptops, broadband, VPNs, and Blackberries, it's too easy to "just check a couple emails" while you're at home. I say resist the temptation. When you get home, don't work. If you have too much work to do, then stay at the office and do it. Go home after it's done. Once you start working at home in the evenings or on the weekends, it's a difficult habit to break.
   
4. Have commitments outside of work. Sign up for a class, join a sports team, make dinner plans, just do something that meets on a regular schedule that you'll feel bad about missing. By having a commitment outside of work, you're more likely to hold yourself accountable for getting out of the office at a reasonable time. Another benefit of this is that you will find that you're more productive during the hours that you're at work. And by filling your time outside of work with other activities you'll have less down-time to "just check email for a minute."
   
5. Get into a routine. You've probably noticed certain people who leave the office at the same time everyday. Having a set schedule can be a good way to get your work-life balance under control. This ties in to the point above about having somewhere you need to go, but even if you don't then you should try to leave at around the same time everyday. I'm not suggesting you sit around and watch the clock but knowing that you plan to leave at 6:00 will force you to make the best use of your time up until then. Usually we all have too much to do in a given day but shortening the amount of time we give ourselves to do it forces us to be more efficient.
   

I'm sure there are many more good tips people use for maintaining work-life balance. If you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments.